they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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