So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
