just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
