There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
