Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
