I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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