New invention idea: vibrating tampons
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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