I met the friendliest cop last night
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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