will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
