Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
