I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
