nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize