My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
