youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
