There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
