You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
