can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
