Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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