Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
