apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
