Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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