how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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