we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
