We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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