Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
