when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
