did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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