I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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