I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize