I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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