how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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