I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
