Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
