i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
