I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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