Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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