This girl is more easily done than said...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Still dying that you shit outside
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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