I just cut my nipple shaving
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Found your dick twin last night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
