Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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