Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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