When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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