I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Can't talk, ducks in the car
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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