Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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