Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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