Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry raymay51 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus

Fav 12 1406 1649
share tweet
(678): View more from Georgia

He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.

Fav 38 5827 1650
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester

Fav 10 9947 1343
share tweet
(563): View more from Iowa

I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.

Fav 33 1424 3284
share tweet
(619): View more from California

Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.

Fav 13 2023 1633
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office

Fav 18 3083 2684
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(765): View more from Indiana

If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.

Fav 2 1834 909
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.

Fav 1 71 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(912): View more from Georgia

No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.

Fav 0 57 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT