I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
