8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
