just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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