We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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