Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
