I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
