Sponge bath it is.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize