Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
