Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
