doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
