I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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