When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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