I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
