i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize