If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
