don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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