I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This is classic penis vs brain.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
