Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
