so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I see more hoeing in ur future
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
