Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
