You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize